This Spring/ Summer, the Ramblers is urging people to join a ‘Blue-tiful’ bluebell walk, and help save one of the countryside’s best loved flowers; the delicate British bluebell.

Bluebells – under threat

The Ramblers ‘Blue-tiful’ bluebell walks season will (more…)

We’ve all been there, you’re cooking for friends, going to a dinner party or trying a new restaurant and the moment comes when you have to choose the wine. Whether you’re stood in a supermarket aisle or looking at a wine list, there is a certain amount of pressure that goes with the decision. You want to make sure whatever you select complements the food you’re going to be eating.
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TWO DATES FOR THE DIARY…
• Thursday 23rd April is the annual English Wine Producers St George’s Day Tasting
• 23rd – 31st May is the 2009 English Wine Week

English Wine Producers are looking forward to another busy year of activity in 2009, which include their trade tasting, English Wine Week, and putting a focus on wine tourism. The St George’s Day Tasting will take place on Thursday 23rd April at Chelsea Football Club, with key producers showing their latest releases and commercially available wines alongside quality smaller volume producers from the regions to illustrate the range and diversity now available. The tasting will also introduce some vineyards and wines new to the English wine scene.
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Jacob’s Creek has been voted ‘Top Wine under £10’ at the 5th Annual Good Housekeeping Food Awards this week. The event, held at the Good Housekeeping Institute, saw Jacob’s Creek triumph over runner-up wine E&J Gallo. Good Housekeeping readers nominated Jacob’s Creek from a shortlist of 11, establishing Jacob’s Creek to be the readers true favourite. The magazine’s 1.7m readers voted via the magazine and the website.
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TOP PRICE TICKETS TO BE WON TO SEE LATIN FEVER STARRING BBC’S STRICTLY COME DANCING STARS DARREN BENNETT & LILIA KOPYLOVA!

Take an exhilarating journey into the exotic world of Latin American dance with sparkling stars Darren Bennett and Lilia Kopylova!

The dazzling partnership from the BBC’s Strictly Come Dancing will be joined
by four leading Latin American dancing duos and a live Latin band for their breathtaking voyage, which takes them from the streets of Brazil to the bullrings of Spain by way of a vibrant mix of dance styles including the rumba, the cha-cha-cha and of course the tango.

Their glamorous journey begins with an explosion of Brazilian rhythms at the Carnival in Rio, before the audience is transported to the sultry clubs of Buenos Aires to be seduced by the passion and intensity of the tango. Cuba beckons with the cheeky cha-cha-cha and rumba, and then it’s time to boogie to the American dance halls of the 1920s for the swing and jitterbug. The voyage continues in Spain where the passion, aggression and drama of the bullring is brought to life in the glorious paso doblè.

To be in with a chance of winning go to our Theatre quiz section and do the quiz.

LATIN FEVER – 27 May – 28 June 2009
Sadler’s Wells Peacock Theatre, Portugal Street, London, WC2
Booking Office: 0844 412 4300

T&C’s
Prize tickets are valid for the opening performance on Wednesday 27 May 2009. Subject to availability and not to be used in conjunction with any other offer. No alternative dates offered.

COMPETITION AND TICKET OFFER FOR COLLABORATION/TAKING SIDES BY RONALD HARWOOD AT THE DUCHESS THEATRE!

Collaboration and Taking Sides, two critically acclaimed plays written by award winning playwright Ronald Harwood, explore the fine line between collaboration and betrayal during the Second World War. Each play poses provocative and powerful questions and together they form one exhilarating theatrical debate.

Ronald Harwood CBE, wrote the screenplays for The Dresser for which he was nominated for an Oscar and The Pianist, for which he won the 2003 Academy Award for Best Adapted Screenplay. He was nominated for the Best Adapted Screenplay Oscar for The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (2007).

Taking Sides, first seen in 1995 deals with an investigation into the great German conductor Wilhelm Furtwängler (Michael Pennington), After the war Furtwängler became the target for vigorous interrogation by the crude, apparently uncultured Major Steve Arnold (David Horovitch). Michael Pennington also plays composer Richard Strauss in Harwood’s London Premier of Collaboration. The play opens in 1931 in a spirit of optimism as Strauss and writer Stefan Zweig embark on an invigorating artistic partnership. However, Zweig is a Jew and the Nazis are on the march.

The cast includes Isla Blair, Pip Donaghy, Martin Hutson, Melanie Jessop, and Sophie Roberts.

Funkyfogey has a fantastic ticket offer of Best Available seats for just £25.00 (usually £46.00) valid for all Mon – Fri performances from May 20th – 3rd July 2009. To book this offer call the Box Office now on 0844 412 4659 and quote ‘Email offer’ Alternatively you can book via the links below:
To Book your £25 Taking Sides tickets online CLICK HERE
To Book your £25 Collaboration tickets online ClICK HERE

Collaboration/Taking Sides
Duchess Theatre, Catherine Street, London, WC2B 5LA

by Joanna McClelland Glass Directed by Derek Bond.

Veteran actor Michael Craig returns to the London stage in the UK premiere of the award-winning TRYING, opening for a four week limited season on Tuesday, 17 March 2009 at London∂s Finborough Theatre.

A surprising yet touching play about a profound friendship between two strangers – at dramatically different points in their lives – who unexpectedly find they have more in common than they thought.

This rich story of life’s most inevitable adventure –of growing old is inspired by the playwright’s real-life experience as personal secretary to the real Judge Biddle, US Attorney General under President Franklin D. Roosevelt and Chief American Judge at the Nuremberg War Crimes Trials.

Internationally famous, cantankerous and in failing health, the 81 year old Judge Francis Biddle awaits the new secretary that his wife has forced upon him. Sarah is very young and inexperienced and, even worse, from Canada. Francis doesn∂t trust her. Francis doesn∂t trust anyone – his last assistant managed to burn half his books. Despite undergoing her own marital pressures and impending motherhood, Sarah is determined to get the Judge∂s life in order – without crying in the bathroom.

Since its New York premiere in 2004, Trying has been presented in numerous theatres across the world including the USA, Canada and Australia, and now receives its UK premiere.

Helen Mirren plays the title role in Racine’s PHEDRE, directed by Nicholas Hytner
Richard Eyre directs a new play by Matt Charman, THE OBSERVER

The Travelex £10 Tickets season continues with Shakespeare’s ALL’S WELL THAT ENDS WELL, directed by Marianne Elliott

Lee Hall’s THE PITMEN PAINTERS tours the UK

NT LIVE launches with a live broadcast of Phèdre into cinemas worldwide

NEW CONNECTIONS premieres new plays for young people by writers including William Boyd, Anthony Horowitz and David Mamet

Entry Pass offers free tickets for under 26s as part of ‘A Night Less Ordinary’

Watch This Space and Square2 return; Sunday performances resume from July; Platforms, Exhibitions and Discover

THE OBSERVER
Cottesloe Theatre. Previews from 13 May, press night 20 May, continuing in repertoire

THE OBSERVER, a new play by Matt Charman, will open in the Cottesloe Theatre on 20 May, directed by Richard Eyre. The production will be designed by Rob Howell, with lighting by Neil Austin, projection design by Jon Driscoll, music by Richard Hartley and sound by Rich Walsh. The cast is: Leo Bill, Daon Broni, Anna Chancellor, James Fleet, Peter Forbes, Lloyd Hutchinson, Chuk Iwuji, Aïcha Kossoko, Louis Mahoney, Cyril Nri, Isabel Pollen and Joy Richardson.

An international group of observers arrives in a West African country to oversee and rubber stamp its first democratic election. New voters queue in their thousands, but a senior member of the observation team find herself both horrified by the President’s suppressive tactics and, for once, in a position to do something about it. Yet as violence on the streets escalates and the country enters free fall, an increasingly angry young translator forces this well-meaning outsider to confront the impact of her intervention.

Matt Charman’s plays include The Five Wives of Maurice Pinder for the NT, and A Night at the Dogs (Soho) which won him a Verity Bargate Award in 2004. The Observer won the 2008 Catherine Johnson Award for Best Play, as part of the Pearson Playwrights’ Scheme. Anna Chancellor’s stage appearances include Never So Good and Stanley at the National; King Lear for the RSC (Stratford, London and Japan); and Creditors at the Donmar. She and James Fleet appeared in Richard Curtis’ Four Weddings and A Funeral.

James Fleet’s recent work in theatre includes Three Sisters and Art in the West End. He is perhaps best known to TV audiences for his role in the long-running BBC series, The Vicar of Dibley. Chuk Iwuji’s theatre work includes the title role in Henry VI Parts 1, 2 & 3 for the RSC; and Christy in The Playboy of the Western World at the Abbey, Dublin. Richard Eyre was Director of the National from 1988 – 1997. His recent work includes The Reporter at the NT, Hedda Gabler (Almeida and West End), which won Olivier Awards for Best Director and Best Revival; Mary Poppins (West End and Broadway); and the films Iris, Stage Beauty and Notes on a Scandal.

THE OBSERVER is sponsored by Accenture, supporters of Innovation at the National Theatre.

Press night: Wednesday 20 May
Contact: Jennifer Reynolds on 020 7452 3233; jreynolds@nationaltheatre.org.uk

Four awards for Donmar Warehouse and RSC productions
Black Watch most celebrated individual production with four wins
Sir Alan Ayckbourn recognised for contribution to theatre

The winners of the 33rd Laurence Olivier Awards were announced tonight, Sunday 8 March 2009, at a glamorous ceremony held at Grosvenor House, London, hosted by James Nesbitt. The variety of theatre on offer in London throughout 2008 was highlighted at this year’s awards with 16 different productions sharing the honours.
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Age Concern and Help the Aged are calling on everyone to ‘get walking’ the week of Monday 11th to Sunday 17th May, to give their support to the high profile national fundraising event, The Big Spring Walk and help generate vital funds for disadvantaged older people. The popular event will see people across the UK logging how far they walk that week, whether it involves pounding the pavements to get to work, swapping the school run for a leisurely stroll, or even totting-up miles on a treadmill at the gym!
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The Ramblers, Britain’s walking charity, has devised an easy-to-follow walking programme to help people save money on costly gym membership during the credit crunch. With most household budgets overstretched this year, the charity at the heart of walking in Britain, wants to make it easy for people to introduce exercise into their everyday lives.
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Britain’s walking charity is changing its image to reflect the breadth and variety of its current activities. A rise in membership from the under 40s, greater range of urban and specially themed walks such as love hikes and film strolls has called for a more up-to-date image for the 74 year old organisation.
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Celebrating 60 Years of National Parks and Access to the Countryside

Since prehistoric times, the great sandstone ridge of the Simonside Hills and the Coquet Valley below have echoed to the gathering of people for the summer solstice. This year, the first ever Rothbury and Coquetdale Midsummer Walking Festival will be drawing crowds of walkers and country-lovers to the this beautiful part of Northumberland National Park.
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2 – 19 July 2009
Theatre and Dance Programme
Manchester International Festival is dedicated to commissioning and presenting new work by some of the world’s leading artists and creative minds. The world’s first festival of original, new work and special events, it takes place biennially in Manchester, UK. (more…)

A rush of sales as Mother’s Day approaches has seen the ‘Mamma Mia!’ movie overtake ‘Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows’ to become the best-selling product of all-time on Amazon.co.uk.
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The New York Dolls’ today confirmed the U.K. release date of Monday May 4th for their highly anticipated fourth studio album ‘Cause I Sez So. The band has reunited with Todd Rundgren, producer of their influential 1973 debut. The new album will be released by Atco Records (U.S. release date is Tuesday May 5th).
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Global superstar, Rod Stewart, has been confirmed as the headline act at an annual fundraising event for sick and disabled children. The generous singer, famed for hits including Maggie May, You Wear It Well and Sailing, has agreed to donate his appearance and perform at the Caudwell Children ‘Butterfly Ball’ in May after learning about the work of the Charity.
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The first, intimate full-length 80 minute documentary on Sid’s life to mark 30 years since his death, when he was just 21 years old from a heroin overdose. Many of those closest to Sid speak for the very first time about the only true punk icon – who burnt out, but never sold out.
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A self-catering cottage in the heart of Hadrian’s Wall Country is in the running for two top awards for accessibility and sustainability next month. The Hytte (pronounced “hutta”) in Bingfield near Hexham has been short listed for the Access for All Gold award and the Sustainable Tourism Gold award at the annual Enjoy England Awards for Excellence on 23rd April the ‘Oscars’ of the tourism industry. (more…)

The home of Hong Kong film icon and martial arts master Bruce Lee will be turned into a memorial site, and could prove as big a draw as other global sites such as the Beatle’s Liverpool house and Elvis Presley’s Graceland mansion in the US. Parts of the 5,700 square-foot, two-storey townhouse located in a leafy Kowloon suburb will be restored, including Lee’s study and training hall stacked with martial arts weaponry and other equipment of his discipline. It will also feature a library, martial arts centre and a cinema to fully commemorate Lee’s life and philosophy.
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With a growing reputation for celebrating in style, 1066 Country kicks off its programme of annual festivals with a bang in May.
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We all take pleasure in escaping the hustle and bustle of our normal daily routines, taking advantage of a summer holiday or short break away. But for many families this year, concerns with the current economic climate and the sudden high Euro currency exchange range, mean family fun at home is becoming much more appealing. And luckily there are holiday beauty spots on our doorstep, reaching north that compare with any continental landscape or resort.
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Celebrate single travel with a new range of value breaks from Just You

The number of people opting for single travel could rocket this year as companies offer even more value for money to their customers. Just You (0800 915 8000, www.justyou.co.uk), the UK’s leading specialist in holidays for single travellers is now offering outstanding deals. Just You offers a new range of tours with the focus on outstanding prices for incredible experiences.
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Part three
As the ‘older generation’ we are living very different lives to our mothers and fathers. Being over 50 is not considered ‘old’ any more because most of us believe that we are too young to be old. Compared to our parents, our generation is much more financially independent, health-oriented, active in the workforce, more attentive to our appearance and outspoken. (more…)

The first ever national lecture on music therapy in the cancer care setting takes place on March 31st 2009 to encourage discussions and research into this area.
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Age related hearing loss is something which befalls the majority of us and sounds which were once crystal clear become increasingly muffled and fuzzy. 6.5 million people over 60 are deaf and hard of hearing, with many waiting, on average, 15 years to report their problem. With this in mind, RNID has devised a simple, free, online hearing check to help identify those with hearing loss and encourage prompt action.
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One in four women and a third of men will be affected by alopecia at some stage in their lives.

The Alopecia Clinic in Denton, Greater Manchester, offers solutions for all types of hair loss. From thinning hair to a receding hair line or even total hair loss or balding, there is a solution available at The Alopecia Clinic. There are a number of treatment options available at The Alopecia Clinic including Hair Replacement Systems, Laser Re-growth options and Volumiser treatments to provide natural looking results.
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With nearly 200 people running to raise money for the Stroke Association in this year’s London Marathon, the runners need all the support they can get to help them unwind, relax and recuperate after running 26 gruelling miles! With this in mind the Stroke Association has for the second year running called upon the volunteer services of the Federation of Holistic Therapists (FHT), to offer its sports therapy massages to all its runners. A team of 9 fully trained, qualified and experienced Sports Therapists will be on hand to give the runners the treatment they need to help recover from their exertions.
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Growing your own has never been more popular and a trend that is also popular at the moment is using less pesticides and more natural fertilisers. This is particularly important with edible plants as many people don’t want to be eating residues left by pesticides and eating fruit and vegetables that may have little or no flavour as they were exclusively fed with artificial chemical fertilisers.
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Spalding will be adorned in its flowery dress on 2nd – 4th May at this year’s celebration of all things flora.

Hundreds of flowers and plants will bring Spalding to life and kick-start summer with colourful and intricate displays. Based at the Springfields Event Centre, the event will include much of what has delighted the visiting public for many years. Structures covered in fresh tulip heads, marching bands and children’s activities will all be featured at this popular annual event. Special displays featuring a host of childhood characters and themes including the Owl and the Pussycat, Alice in Wonderland and the World of Beatrix Potter will delight visitors of all ages. (more…)

The National Trust has announced that it is making available 1000 plots for conversion to allotments; a response to our ever growing desire to avoid rising food prices and produce our own fresh fruit and veg.

The Allotment Experience by Ruth Binney is more than a gardening guide, it is a celebration of life on the much sought-after British allotment. Although it is based on Binney’s first-hand experience, it also contains quotes and stories from hundreds of other allotment enthusiasts. Binney provides useful tips and techniques and also shares recipes to make with your fresh produce. She is not afraid to include details of her failures and disappointments; as one gardener says, “It’s all trial and error.”

Binney comments, “As well as giving us a chance to grow our own food (and battle the weeds) tending our plot did wonders for mind and body, and was a welcome refuge from the claustrophobia of flat life.” For anyone with an allotment already, or sitting on the 150,000 people-long waiting list to acquire one, The Allotment Experience will tell you everything you need to know about making the most of your plot.

About the author: Ruth Binney has, with her husband Donald, been cultivating allotments for more than 25 years, in London and most recently in Dorset, where she now lives. She is an editor and author who, during a long career in publishing, has been involved in the creation of books on gardening and may other topics, particularly country wisdom. She is secretary of her local horticultural association and an occasional prize winner at its annual shows. This is her sixth book.

The Allotment Experience is published by How To Books Ltd. www.howtobooks.co.uk and is available at £10.99 in major bookshops and online retailers across the country. ISBN 978-1- 905862-26-9

Garden planning specialists GrowVeg.com have just launched a series of online guides to growing fruit, vegetables and herbs in your own garden.

More and more people are experiencing the thrill of growing their own fresh produce yet the specialist knowledge required to succeed at this can be daunting. Not only do different vegetables need sowing and planting at specific times but they also need spacing correctly, planting in the correct position and protecting from pests. The techniques vary from plant to plant and just knowing when to feed or harvest them can often save your whole crop from spoiling.

To make the process simple, GrowVeg.com have created a series of free online ‘GrowGuides’ listing all the important information for more than 90 fruit, vegetables and herbs from their extensive database. Each plant contains a full listing of all the vital factors that enable it to be grown successfully together with information on troubleshooting and harvesting.

As well as the plant information, gardeners can add their own growing tips and advice. The thousands of people who use GrowVeg.com will be using this to build up a repository of all the shared gardening knowledge about each crop along with helpful ways to grow them.

To complement this there are a series of GrowGuide articles written by gardening experts. These cover topics such as Controlling Pests, Starting a New Plot and Gardening with Children.

The new GrowGuides can also work in conjunction with GrowVeg.com’s unique Garden Planning Tool which is used by gardeners to organise their vegetable plots. This online software makes it simple to create plans, print customised planting calendars and rotate crops from year to year. Gardeners can opt to receive email reminders of when to sow and plant each of their vegetables and these link directly to the GrowGuide plant pages. Getting organised in the garden has never been so easy!

GrowVeg.com’s GrowGuides can be found at www.GrowVeg.com/growguides.aspx

In the past, pest control was provided free of charge by your local authority who would send out their own contractors to treat any infestations. However, the Prevention of Damage by Pests Act 1949 does not make it a statutory duty to provide pest management services. In recent years this has led to many councils charging for these services to allow them to save money in this discretionary part of their budget. (more…)

Later this year the Government will publish a green paper on the future of adult care and support, setting in motion a major shake-up of care services for the elderly and disabled. More people are living longer and the cost of care is central to the debate. (more…)

New weapon in war on car crime puts honest buyers and sellers in control
A NEW service is set to make car buying safer in the face of rising levels of fraud.
While police forces across the country have reported a rise in fraud offences, including incidents of counterfeit cash and forged bankers drafts, CarPay.co.uk is Britain’s first secure vehicle money transfer service offering peace of mind to both parties involved in any deal.
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The Consumer Council for Water has teamed up with Help the Aged to offer some tips on how to protect against bogus callers. Around 35 bogus caller crimes happen every day, 1 and roughly half of the impostors state some connection with ‘the Water Board,’ so the water industry’s campaign, ‘Knock Knock, Who’s There? Be Stranger Aware’ is encouraging people to stop and think before opening the door. (more…)

British couples spend just under 10 DAYS a year not speaking, according to a new survey.

The average married couple has two arguments every week which result in the silent treatment for two hours and 14 minutes each time. That’s an astonishing 104 arguments every year, lasting a total of 232 hours and 16 minutes. Six out of 10 people refuse to kiss and make up quickly after an argument, preferring to sulk than admit they are in the wrong. A fifth are too stubborn to say sorry, whilst 14 per cent have a tendency to storm out of the house before an argument has been resolved.
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30 volunteers are taking part in the ‘DEFRA’s ACT on CO2 campaign’, focusing on the People Power challenge, which sees them all across England getting smart about their energy usage, and saving money.
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Leading Cosmetic Dentist Reports Dramatic Rise in Patients Over 50 Seeking Treatments
London, 16th March, 2008 –A leading London cosmetic dentist has today announced a dramatic rise in the number of patients over the age of 50 seeking cosmetic dentistry and aesthetic treatments, bucking the recession trend. Dr Anoop Maini of Aqua Dental Spa (www.aquadentalspa.com) reports a 63 per cent jump since October 2008, compared with the previous months. The most popular treatments are whitening, dermal fillers and Botox.
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The life, loves and poetry of Alfred Lord Tennyson are being brought to life as his home county Lincolnshire celebrates the Poet Laureate’s 200th birthday. Poetry lovers can explore the life and work of Tennyson – one of the most famous poetic voices of the 19th century, and follow in his footsteps in a series of events based around the bicentenary of his birth. Tennyson remains one of the most popular English poets of all time and is the most frequently quoted writer after Shakespeare. His influence on English language remains strong, with many of his phrases like ‘better to have loved and lost’ still being used today.
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An ordinary man, an extraordinary calling!

Ben Kingsley, Christian Slater, Alfred Molina, Elliot Gould…
Academy Award Winner* BEN KINGSLEY (*GANDHI, THUNDERBIRDS) narrates one of the greatest stories of our time in this stunning new animated version of THE TEN COMMANDMENTS, released 30 March on DVD by Momentum Pictures. Packed with high adventure, the miraculous and gentle sense of humour, THE TEN COMMANDMENTS is beautifully crafted with bright and inviting animation. Recounting one of the greatest stories about keeping the faith, believing in all you do and the power of family, it is the perfect DVD for Easter. (more…)

Celebrity Chef and Food Archaeologist, Alan Coxon has launched his critically acclaimed Historic Food range in Japan this month at the FOODEX JAPAN 2009 in Tokyo. The Historic Food range is a sumptuous reproduction of the flavours and ingredients that once adorned tables of the mighty Roman Emperors, Medieval Knights and Ancient Greek temples.
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Today on a stunning private beach at Jamaica Inn in Ocho Rios, British celebrity chef Antony Worrall Thompson took on Jamaica’s top jerk chefs in an audacious bid to prove he had taken the island’s signature dish to a new level. (more…)

Make a fresh start this summer – National Vegetarian Week 18-24 May 2009 sponsored by Cauldron Foods. Better for you, better for the environment and better for animals.
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Calling all caterers, restaurants and businesses: Make a fresh start for summer

Make a fresh start this summer – National Vegetarian Week 18-24 May 2009 sponsored by Cauldron Foods. Better for you, better for the environment and better for animals.
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The NEC, Birmingham, 10-14 June 2009

This year’s BBC Summer Good Food Show will take place at The NEC from 10-14 June and will be offering visitors a great value package to set them up for a sizzling summer of fabulous family meals and light and delicious seasonal dinner party menus.
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The step-by-step beginners’ guide to creating a website or blog
by Kyle MacRae & Gary Marshall

Haynes, £17.99 (hardback),
Format: Hardback,
ISBN: 978 1 84425 658 7

Need to build a website? Don’t know where to start? Can’t afford to pay someone to do it? Look no further – Build Your Own Website has the answers you need.
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by Lady Fortescue
ISBN: 978 1 84024 739 8
Paperback: 320 pages
£7.99
May 2009

“The hand-shaking in Provence is most exhausting. My hand was shaken at least sixty times a day, shaken in greeting, in parting, and on every possible pretext, by every variety of hand in every possible condition of dirt …”
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by Ed and Kate Douglas
Recipes by Sue Hughes
Publication Date: 1st May 2009
Price: £12.99

Stay Dry, Keep Warm and Eat Great Food

Includes over 50 recipes to cook by the campfire

Did you know that sales of camping equipment – including sleeping bags, torches and paraffin stoves have increased by 40% in the past year? Or that Tesco Direct has seen a 38% rise in camping equipment sales since July 2007?*
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by Mark De Rond
Foreword by Sir Steve Redgrave
£8.99, Paperback, ISBN 978-184831-045-2

THE LAST AMATEURS is the first ever ethnographical study of one of the most famous rowing clubs in the world. In the same vein as Louis Theroux and Bruce Parry, Mark de Rond offers a first-hand account of a year in the life of Cambridge University’s Boat Race crew – asking what it is like to be a member of such a community. (more…)

The London Book Fair is delighted to confirm that bestselling authors James Patterson, Vikram Seth and Prue Leith will be attending this year’s show as part of the Author of the Day programme. (more…)

Council members were celebrating this week when it was announced that Bexhill in Sussex would play host to the 2012 International Chip Festival. The ancient seaside town saw off Brighton and Beirut in its bid to put on this prestigious event.

Council Leader Mark ‘Chip’ Sutton OBE said yesterday, “Who doesn’t like chips? I like chips with everything. This is good for chips, good for Bexhill and good for the world.”

Not everyone in Bexhill is so enthusiastic though, Reverend A. J. ‘Spud’ Wilson MA is concerned his council tax will go up to fund this extravagant occasion. “I love chips like the next man but who’s paying for all this? There’ll be bunting and whatnot, it’s going to cost us taxpayers a fortune.”

Colourful local character Colonel Johnny ‘Masher’ Kimble OBE,NIMBY,DSO echoed these concerns, “I don’t want to throw cold water on this but you’re going to have outsiders sicking up chips all over the place, spoiling the magic of the town for the little ones.”

The festival is expected to bring in twenty-five pounds to the local economy, much needed money as over the last twenty years people have abandoned the wretchedness of Bexhill in favour of sunny, pleasant places. “Of course there are going to be locals that are against it,” stated the town’s mayor, and Nobel prize winner for his ground-breaking work with animated tattoos, Timothy ‘Wedgie’ Evans, “but it’s a very short-sighted view; this chip festival could be just the thing to give Bexhill the edge over competitors like the Greek islands and Eastbourne’s Sunshine Coast.”

Inspector Ronnie ‘Peeler’ Bryant-Funnell, head of Bexhill police and chief potato peeler at the Bexhill station, has only one concern: “The town could run out of vinegar,” he said. “We’ve no shortage of newspapers for wrapping and the sea is full of salt, but if the town runs dry we’ll be a laughing stock.”

Tickets available: customerservices@funkyfogey.com

NIMBY=Not In My Back Yard.

The story above is entirely fictitious.